The funeral was beautiful, heart breaking, with little bits of wit and wisdom thrown in.
Everything a funeral service should be.
My MIL requested that I sit beside her since Jeff and my FIL were pallbearers and would be seated in the first row. I was just a teeny bit uncomfortable sitting in the middle of her and her sisters, but not in a bad way. I just felt a little bit like an outsider even though I was requested to join them.
Time will hopefully heal the family and here's to hoping they don't all associate Christmas with Grandma's passing.
Moving on to other things.
Our water heater has gone out leading to the one thing no one wants at the holidays.
Unplanned expenses.
Ick.
And I guess that's all I have to say today.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Sympathies
Jeff's grandma passed away yesterday.
I'm sorry for the pain that his family is feeling at the loss, but I'm glad that is grandmother's pain wasn't prolonged.
As is pretty much the rest of NE, we are snowed in, even the cat won't leave the house.
We celebrated the early close of work yesterday by foolishly driving 3 blocks to target to buy the new Harry Potter movie and snow boots for Alaina.
And by "we" I should say "I."
And then we had guests for supper. Guests who willingly, in fact they eagerly, drove through the mess of 10+ inches of snow to get to our house for supper. We tried to reschedule, but they wouldn't hear of it.
Our guests were a pastor and his wife who used to minister at Jeff's hometown Methodist church. They are very nice, but they have a bit if an agenda for us. He desperately wants Jeff to help lead his worship band and youth ministry. There are several reasons that Jeff won't be doing this, the main one being his decision to become an atheist.
Do you become an atheist or do you just decide to give up religion? I'm not sure about that one, because things work better if we don't mention the fact that I still believe in a higher power while Jeff finds me to be a fool.
Anyway, it was nice to have them over, but a tiny bit uncomfortable because of the subtle hints to help him get the new church up and running. And kudos to Jeff for having told the pastor of his newfound beliefs which have left Jeff wide open to be a 'saved' soul.
But we'll have to see if he ever reveals that to his parents.
I'm sorry for the pain that his family is feeling at the loss, but I'm glad that is grandmother's pain wasn't prolonged.
As is pretty much the rest of NE, we are snowed in, even the cat won't leave the house.
We celebrated the early close of work yesterday by foolishly driving 3 blocks to target to buy the new Harry Potter movie and snow boots for Alaina.
And by "we" I should say "I."
And then we had guests for supper. Guests who willingly, in fact they eagerly, drove through the mess of 10+ inches of snow to get to our house for supper. We tried to reschedule, but they wouldn't hear of it.
Our guests were a pastor and his wife who used to minister at Jeff's hometown Methodist church. They are very nice, but they have a bit if an agenda for us. He desperately wants Jeff to help lead his worship band and youth ministry. There are several reasons that Jeff won't be doing this, the main one being his decision to become an atheist.
Do you become an atheist or do you just decide to give up religion? I'm not sure about that one, because things work better if we don't mention the fact that I still believe in a higher power while Jeff finds me to be a fool.
Anyway, it was nice to have them over, but a tiny bit uncomfortable because of the subtle hints to help him get the new church up and running. And kudos to Jeff for having told the pastor of his newfound beliefs which have left Jeff wide open to be a 'saved' soul.
But we'll have to see if he ever reveals that to his parents.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Cold-heart versus Rock
I feel the need to just articulate/pontificate/ expound for a while . . .
Here's a little history:
Jeff's maternal grandmother raised five daughters all by herself, loosing her husband to a car accident while she was pregnant with the fifth. My MIL is the oldest and Jeff's aunt R is the youngest.
Jeff's grandmother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's for about 4 years or so. Its amazing to see how medicine may not have cured it yet, but it gave her a higher quality of living by improving her social interaction.
Translation: She may not have known my name, but she always liked to sit and talk to me for a while. My favorite moment being earlier this year when Kayla was 2 weeks old and she asked me when I was due. I just laughed and pointed out my new baby across the room and she laughed along with me.
But it appears that cancer has entered the picture and the family feels that it won't be long before she moves on. Everyone is taking it really hard, especially my MIL and Aunt R, who assumed responsibility of their mother, moved in with her and has taken care of herself ever since she couldn't do it herself.
I have no idea how to react. I am at peace with her passing, and Jeff seems to be as well. So when everyone get misty and choked up, I feel like a cold hearted woman patting their hand. I asked if there was anything we could do and the answer was "pray."
I immediately asked, "For what?"
I thought that sounded mean as soon as I said it, but I guess I was asking what stage of grief they were at. If they wanted me to pray for her to get better, things were going to get really ugly in the next few weeks.
But since they asked for me to pray for her comfort, I think the family is going to stay strong and count their blessings in the short time they have left.
I worry that I might seem too insensitive, but sometimes I feel like I've been down the road of grief more that other's my age, so I'm a little bit more staid in my grief. We haven't had a lot of deaths in the family, but being such a close family, losing my grandfathers in slow battles and one uncle in the blink of an eye has helped me adopt a calmer facet during the grieving process.
I don't know, I guess maybe I never was a big crying in my grief. I'm hard pressed to remember being distraught with grief at a funeral, I can remember crying for sure, but never loud sobs. Mom, any input into my ponderings?
Anyway, thanks for listening as I rambled my way around.
Here's a little history:
Jeff's maternal grandmother raised five daughters all by herself, loosing her husband to a car accident while she was pregnant with the fifth. My MIL is the oldest and Jeff's aunt R is the youngest.
Jeff's grandmother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's for about 4 years or so. Its amazing to see how medicine may not have cured it yet, but it gave her a higher quality of living by improving her social interaction.
Translation: She may not have known my name, but she always liked to sit and talk to me for a while. My favorite moment being earlier this year when Kayla was 2 weeks old and she asked me when I was due. I just laughed and pointed out my new baby across the room and she laughed along with me.
But it appears that cancer has entered the picture and the family feels that it won't be long before she moves on. Everyone is taking it really hard, especially my MIL and Aunt R, who assumed responsibility of their mother, moved in with her and has taken care of herself ever since she couldn't do it herself.
I have no idea how to react. I am at peace with her passing, and Jeff seems to be as well. So when everyone get misty and choked up, I feel like a cold hearted woman patting their hand. I asked if there was anything we could do and the answer was "pray."
I immediately asked, "For what?"
I thought that sounded mean as soon as I said it, but I guess I was asking what stage of grief they were at. If they wanted me to pray for her to get better, things were going to get really ugly in the next few weeks.
But since they asked for me to pray for her comfort, I think the family is going to stay strong and count their blessings in the short time they have left.
I worry that I might seem too insensitive, but sometimes I feel like I've been down the road of grief more that other's my age, so I'm a little bit more staid in my grief. We haven't had a lot of deaths in the family, but being such a close family, losing my grandfathers in slow battles and one uncle in the blink of an eye has helped me adopt a calmer facet during the grieving process.
I don't know, I guess maybe I never was a big crying in my grief. I'm hard pressed to remember being distraught with grief at a funeral, I can remember crying for sure, but never loud sobs. Mom, any input into my ponderings?
Anyway, thanks for listening as I rambled my way around.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Wisdom for my daughter
I was looking at pictures the other day and I came across my favorite one of my sister and I just before our high school graduation ceremony. I thought about what I had learned since then and any regrets/wisdom I wanted to pass along to my daughter.
1. Alway study hard. As much as it sucks, you will be judged by that stupid little letter/number on that report card by nearly EVERYONE!
2. If you are going to go out for sports, give it your all. Then, win or lose, you will know that you did your best.
3. Always think before you act. SERIOUSLY! This applies to even the little idiotic things like calling and hanging up on that cute boy from the neighboring town because 10 years later you will realize that he knew it was you and you will still be embarrassed about it.
4. Boys are for later. Don't waste your time on them before you are settled into college. How many relationships survive the high school to college transition anyway? (Don't say Mimi and Papa or their neighbors . . .that's cheating and they don't count.)
5. Don't ever take someone from a different school to a school dance. You feel like you are babysitting the entire night, or they accuse you of ignoring them to hang out with friends.
6. Be nice to EVERYONE. Not just the so called 'cool kids' but to everyone! That shy boy that sits next to you might be the next president, your boss, or a Husker quarterback and won't you feel good when you can say you know him.
7. Be adventurous. Try new foods, meet new people, learn a foreign language.
8. Think about the future. What do you want to be? Its never to early to think about those kinds of things.
9. Don't give up on something just because its tough. Things I regret giving up or not making more time for . . .Piano, dance, yearbook, speech, drama. I loved them all but didn't try to excel at any.
10. Manage your money! Have a dollar? Save it! I'm terrible with money and your father is great with it. Learn from him please.
11. Don't be in a hurry to grow up. Once you leave a stage behind there's no going back. For everything that you gain as you move on, something else will get left behind.
Any other recommendations?
I think I'll keep a running tally of things to tell my daughters as they grow up and then every year on their birthdays I'll read it too them after they turn 7.
Once they turn 12, I'll read it every month. : )
1. Alway study hard. As much as it sucks, you will be judged by that stupid little letter/number on that report card by nearly EVERYONE!
2. If you are going to go out for sports, give it your all. Then, win or lose, you will know that you did your best.
3. Always think before you act. SERIOUSLY! This applies to even the little idiotic things like calling and hanging up on that cute boy from the neighboring town because 10 years later you will realize that he knew it was you and you will still be embarrassed about it.
4. Boys are for later. Don't waste your time on them before you are settled into college. How many relationships survive the high school to college transition anyway? (Don't say Mimi and Papa or their neighbors . . .that's cheating and they don't count.)
5. Don't ever take someone from a different school to a school dance. You feel like you are babysitting the entire night, or they accuse you of ignoring them to hang out with friends.
6. Be nice to EVERYONE. Not just the so called 'cool kids' but to everyone! That shy boy that sits next to you might be the next president, your boss, or a Husker quarterback and won't you feel good when you can say you know him.
7. Be adventurous. Try new foods, meet new people, learn a foreign language.
8. Think about the future. What do you want to be? Its never to early to think about those kinds of things.
9. Don't give up on something just because its tough. Things I regret giving up or not making more time for . . .Piano, dance, yearbook, speech, drama. I loved them all but didn't try to excel at any.
10. Manage your money! Have a dollar? Save it! I'm terrible with money and your father is great with it. Learn from him please.
11. Don't be in a hurry to grow up. Once you leave a stage behind there's no going back. For everything that you gain as you move on, something else will get left behind.
Any other recommendations?
I think I'll keep a running tally of things to tell my daughters as they grow up and then every year on their birthdays I'll read it too them after they turn 7.
Once they turn 12, I'll read it every month. : )
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