Holiday Symbols

Jeff and I decided that we would be putting the tree up this year after a taking a break last year. And since we are finding ourselves in a better monetary situation, we made the decision to spring for some 'shatterproof' ornaments rather than the classic 'shards of fun' glass ornaments that we usually have.

We've been lucky enough to have Aunt Stacey's tree for the last several years. Lucky because it is a beautiful pre-lit tree.

Saturday night, (after the obligatory mourning for the Husker's loss . . .) I wisely put up the tree so all that we needed to do on Sunday was decorate.

Picture this lovely domestic scene on a Sunday morning:

We hang the garland, quickly discovering that Mommy didn't get enough packages of garland to sufficiently cover the tree.

F#@$^&&$#!!!

Now for the new ornaments! I open up the boxes and tubes of 74 shatterproof glittery red and gold orbs to find that some asinine person has decided that tiny little strings would work soooooo much better than hooks. So now Mommy is sitting on the floor, cursing quietly to herself as she ties strings for 71 pretty ornaments.

F#@$^&&$#!!!

71 of 74?

I only tied strings for 71 of the 74 because apparently the 24 gold ornaments weren't cool enough to come with strings for each ornament and I was too cranky to hunt down some matching strings in my sewing stuff upstairs. So the last 3 are banished to storage until next year.

F#@$^&&$#!!!

Now picture Alaina running around attempting to tell us all exactly how this is supposed to go.

NO! Not the shiny ones just the Glittery ones!
Kayla! Stop Throwing the ornaments!
Please hurry up tying those strings Mommy!
KAYLA! Stop touching the ornaments!
Mommy can you lift me up to put the high ones on?
Kayla! Don't touch THAT!
When do we put that star on the top.
MOMMY KAYLA'S TOUCHING THAT AGAIN!!!

F#@$^&&$#!!!

And Kayla, for almost the entire time I've been tying silly little strings, has been tossing the ornaments like she's trying out for the Olympics' first Bean-the-Cat event.She'd win the gold for sure.

F@#$%#$@#$!!!!

And as I get up to get the star I realize,I bought all these pretty GOLD decorations,

And my star is SILVER.

And as crazy as I am, that just will NOT do for our tree.
So we brought home a pretty new glittery red star when we got the rest of our garland.

F@#$%#$@#$!!!!

You still hear that cursing in the background? What do you mean you thought it was ME?!?

Nope!

That cursing going on the entire time, is Jeff. Because if there is one thing in the world that irritates Jeff in this world more than GLITTER, I haven't found it yet.
Jeff is a glitter magnet. If there is a glittery object in our house, Jeff will be wearing glitter to work for 3 weeks. The poor guy could double as a pixie.

(A very manly pixie, my dear. You wear your glitter well.)

And now for the Moment of the day. Oh dear weak of heart friends and family, avert your ears.

As we are decorating the tree Alaina casually says,

(Take a deep breathe and wait for it.)

Hey Mommy, boys have a tongue between their legs.

And now you can begin laughing your ass off.

But this post has gone on long enough. I leave you with this fun little tidbit, and I will post the conversation I had with Alaina about this tomorrow, or as soon as I can.