Bite me.

So Mimi decided to come up and take Sis and I out to eat yesterday for our birthday.

The food was delicious and Jeff appreciated that Sis and Mimi handed over their left over meals for him to consume. But it was noted that the desserts we brought home were not included on his menu.

The little ones joined us and Alaina was very excited to pick her own dessert . . .but Kayla was glad when we headed home because she was tired. So after her bath and book, I sat down to nurse Kayla before laying her down to sleep. Alaina came into the room and startled Kayla, who whipped her head around to see what was happening.

Not a big deal except she got four pretty teeth in the front of her mouth with which she's been practicing a great deal. So while she was nursing she put said teeth to use before turning to see what big sis was doing.

I yelled quite a bit.

Which amused Kayla, so she leaned in and bit me again.

I ordered Alaina out of the room in my not-so-very-nice mommy voice, settled Kayla down for the night, and grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer to shove down my bra.

This would be the proverbial straw that broke the nursing-cow's back.

If I can get Kayla to go for formula bottles from me when she gets home from daycare, I'm debating going cold turkey. I'm trying not to bemoan the fact that I made it just shy of 11 months nursing which is truthfully about what I did last time. But I can't wait to say goodbye to the chaffing of having to wear nursing bras to bed, nursing pads that make me feel like my chest is sweating all day, and praying that my breast pump lasts until Kayla's b-day.

The only thing I miss is how great I look in a push up bra, even though they are almost painful to wear while nursing.

Smile Pretty!

I love getting pictures of my girls. However I hate buying them.

Photographers today take such wonderful pictures, and then they create beautiful collages and arrange them on the adorable pre-set mattes. Then we have to decide who get copies of what picture.

Which never goes too well, because 5 seconds after I order, I regret getting too many of one and not enough of another.

But I LOVE JCPenneys at the mall. They do a terrific job and the last time that I had to wait a long time they gave me some free photos to make up for it. Plus I've almost got the relationship that I need to have with the photographer down as they take pictures. The best 2 options are peekaboo and the tickle game.

To get the girls ready for pictures, I practice playing peekaboo from a distance at the house a few times the week of pictures. I try to use myself and toys to give more variety. It is best not to practice the day of pics or the game is no longer fun when we get to the studio.

When you get to the studio, ask the photographer where she wants the baby to look and I position myself accordingly. Peekaboo is a good game if she is supposed to be looking near the camera because I can hide behind the photographer.

The next effective game is the tickle game. Most parents have a noise that they make when tickling or before blowing raspberries. Mine happens to be a mix of a snarl and a pig snort. (Yes I know that I must look terribly attractive doing this, but my husband can still manage to kiss me without laughing so it works.)

I practice making the sounds before and after I tickle the baby. Then, I make a big production of starting from far away and getting closer while making this noise. When I start to get a smile as soon as she hears me, I've got the set pattern to use in the studio.

And the results?

TADA!!!

Detroit, here I come.

And my fate has been sealed. Last night Jeff's friend Todd called him at work just to ask "How does it feel to be married to a Lions fan?" I said all season that I would be a fan of what ever team drafted him and the results are in.

As soon as Mr. Suh's name was called, I started plotting heading over to the mall to get my official NFL Lions hat.

The best part is that Jeff is so excited he thinks that I should get an official NFL Detroit Lions Jersey for Suh. But his excitement is purely selfish.

Mr. B thinks that simply because I have picked an NFL team, that he will get to watch more football during the season.

Silly man.

SOAPBOX POST

I've got a terrible head cold and I can barely hold a coherent thought in my head. And yet . .all I can think about is one thing.

I know exactly what I'm going to say to my daughters about smoking. What else is there to do other than saying "Don't do it?"

Well here's my approach to one of "the talks":

Ask yourself why you would even want to try smoking. Are you just curious? What are you curious about?

Are you curious that you might like it or that it feels good?

So lets say you try it and you like it. Now what? Now you get to smoke some more. And your clothes start to smell, but you only notice for a few days. Because after that, your sense of smell starts to go downhill too.

And what about all the money you will spend on cigarettes? You just as well start flushing dollar bills down the toilet or lighting them on fire. Because it is a waste of money.

Will you try it because you know you won't smoke much and that you can quit? Well it is a slippery slope my darling dears. Once you have had more than one cig, consider yourself screwed. The urge for a cigarette could sneak up on you at the weirdest times, most of which will be kindled by an act that Hollywood has chosen to associate with smoking or by a co-worker heading out for their hourly smoke because they are hooked worse than you are.

And by that time we've hit the BIG STINK. Get used to sanitizing everything that you own, because no matter how you try to resist, that nasty stink of body odor and smoke is going to start to show up in your clothes. You may not have the odor all the time, but you can bet your favorite jacket will, and probably your car since that's the first place that you start smoking in other than the bars.

So before you try it, ask yourself what you are signing up for. Because I've been there my friend. Smoke free for probably about 2 years. And why do I say probably? Because I didn't pay attention to when I quit. I just slowly cut the habit, one cig at a time.

So I don't remember when the last smoke was . . . but I know that at least once a month I really think that it would be nice to go out for a cigarette. It is such a pain in the ass to have a craving that could kill you. And while chocolate, cheeseburgers, and wine may not be the best things on the planet for you, the act of having one every now and again isn't directly linked to cancer.

So before you feel pressured into trying smoking. Ask yourself . . .


Why the hell would I want to try something I don't ever want to find appealing?

And this is where my mind wanders when I'm on cold and allergy medicine.