Detroit, here I come.

And my fate has been sealed. Last night Jeff's friend Todd called him at work just to ask "How does it feel to be married to a Lions fan?" I said all season that I would be a fan of what ever team drafted him and the results are in.

As soon as Mr. Suh's name was called, I started plotting heading over to the mall to get my official NFL Lions hat.

The best part is that Jeff is so excited he thinks that I should get an official NFL Detroit Lions Jersey for Suh. But his excitement is purely selfish.

Mr. B thinks that simply because I have picked an NFL team, that he will get to watch more football during the season.

Silly man.

SOAPBOX POST

I've got a terrible head cold and I can barely hold a coherent thought in my head. And yet . .all I can think about is one thing.

I know exactly what I'm going to say to my daughters about smoking. What else is there to do other than saying "Don't do it?"

Well here's my approach to one of "the talks":

Ask yourself why you would even want to try smoking. Are you just curious? What are you curious about?

Are you curious that you might like it or that it feels good?

So lets say you try it and you like it. Now what? Now you get to smoke some more. And your clothes start to smell, but you only notice for a few days. Because after that, your sense of smell starts to go downhill too.

And what about all the money you will spend on cigarettes? You just as well start flushing dollar bills down the toilet or lighting them on fire. Because it is a waste of money.

Will you try it because you know you won't smoke much and that you can quit? Well it is a slippery slope my darling dears. Once you have had more than one cig, consider yourself screwed. The urge for a cigarette could sneak up on you at the weirdest times, most of which will be kindled by an act that Hollywood has chosen to associate with smoking or by a co-worker heading out for their hourly smoke because they are hooked worse than you are.

And by that time we've hit the BIG STINK. Get used to sanitizing everything that you own, because no matter how you try to resist, that nasty stink of body odor and smoke is going to start to show up in your clothes. You may not have the odor all the time, but you can bet your favorite jacket will, and probably your car since that's the first place that you start smoking in other than the bars.

So before you try it, ask yourself what you are signing up for. Because I've been there my friend. Smoke free for probably about 2 years. And why do I say probably? Because I didn't pay attention to when I quit. I just slowly cut the habit, one cig at a time.

So I don't remember when the last smoke was . . . but I know that at least once a month I really think that it would be nice to go out for a cigarette. It is such a pain in the ass to have a craving that could kill you. And while chocolate, cheeseburgers, and wine may not be the best things on the planet for you, the act of having one every now and again isn't directly linked to cancer.

So before you feel pressured into trying smoking. Ask yourself . . .


Why the hell would I want to try something I don't ever want to find appealing?

And this is where my mind wanders when I'm on cold and allergy medicine.

The writing on the wall.

I've been a little depressed about having to hand back my wonderful secret service hearing aides on Tuesday. I felt like yelling out "Damn it Chloe!" in my best Jack Bauer voice about 20 times a day, but then everyone would have looked at me like I was crazier than usual.

Okay, so that's no excuse for not blogging, but its all I've got!

Last night Alaina went into the hallway just before bath time and was quietly playing by herself. I just assumed that she was taunting one of the cats, when I heard Jeff say, "OH ALAINA!" in his best 'I'm disappointed in you' voice.

I hustled over to see what the problem was and I just about hyperventilated as I tried to contain my laughter. Alaina was sitting in the middle of the hallway with markers all over the floor and had been drawing on the wall.

ON THE WALL! Jeff was just hitting his stride of "I spent a lot of time painting these walls and making sure they looked nice" and "I'm going to have to paint . ." when I walked over with a wet wash cloth and wiped the wall clean.

Then I turned to Alaina, who was putting on her best "I'm going to cry because I got caught" performance, and cut her Oscar-worthy tears short with a simple, "Alaina, we don't color on walls, that's what your beautiful coloring books are for. Go into the bathroom and we'll start your bath" Then I ran upstairs to laugh until I cried because my daughter did something as cliche as draw on the walls.

Of course, I had to get a few laughs at my husband's clueless-ness about the wonders of washable markers. I tried to take a picture of the marks, but Alaina hadn't gotten far enough for them to show up on a picture. Darn.

Who said that???

In the hall the other day I saw someone that I work with walk by and had to pause. He was dressed in a really nice shirt and glossy tie and looked very GQ and I heard a quiet voice say. . .

Well isn't he adorable!

I stopped in the middle of the hallway in shock because:

A) The voice was in my head

B) When did my inner voice start to sound like a little old lady?

How did this happen? I sat down and tried to think about when my "inner hottie spotter" had aged into someone who could star in a remake of "The Golden Girls." How bad is it and how long has it been going on?

What did I think about the latest group of young stars on my favorite dance competition show?

Adorable

What about the latest viral video I saw of Justin Timberlake?

He's so cute and funny.

OH my gosh! WHAT THE HELL?!?

Watch your language!

Ack!!!!

Someone wave a picture of Gerard Butler at me . . . no I don't think that's strong enough . . .What's stronger that Gerard? Hugh Jackman? hmm maybe that might do it.

Oh, he played such a suave man in Kate and Leopold.

NO! No no no,no,no,no,no,no! Go away! If I'm going to channel a Golden Girl, can't I at least get Blanche?

This post started as a joke, but I think I need to go home and swoon will watching Pride and Prejudice just to try to exorcise that terrifyingly sweet voice.

Geez, the last time I watch P and P, I was watching it with the director commentary on.

Is this how a quarter life crisis begins?

p.s. I told someone at work today that I am "busy out of my gourd." I'm going to blame that horrid little phrase on the holidays.

For the love of a foreigner.

With the head secretary out today I had to answer the big wig's phone. I was given a heads up to decline an invitation to a conference call from someone name Greg. Here's how the call went.

So- and-so's office, Katie speaking.

"Is so-and-so available?" said the warm male voice in a smooth british accent.

I'm sorry so-and-so's on the way to the airport to catch a flight. May I ask who's calling?

"This is Mike Miller. One of my associates, Greg, contacted s-a-s about attending a conference and had arranged to get back to them today," replied the butterly smooth accent.

I see, s-a-s left me with a message for you. They thank you for the offer but due to a conflict they must politely decline to attend. (yes I do speak like this)

"Alright. That's about what I needed. Cheers. "
And so ended my conversation with the man whom will surely be the reader of the next #1 best selling audio book.

I got all giddy and excited after the phone call. For 5 minutes I repeatedly said "cheers" to myself and giggled.

I'm a sucker for accents. British, australian, german, sweedish, russian, chinese, and even local ones like Minesotan and texan. I have no idea when it started, but I know that I had a huge crush on a foreign exchange student from Australia who attended a different school when I was 16. His name was Dave, but when he said it, it sounded a bit like "Dove."

After I got engaged to Jeff, my Mom told me she always thought I would marry a foreigner. Strange how I ended up marrying the boy next door instead.

Maybe I can encourage one of my daughters to marry someone from 'across the pond.'

Pressure Princess

I went to pick up pizza (Yay cheese!) on Saturday and had to stop and gas up my minivan which lead to checking my tire pressure and consequentially airing up the tires.

As I'm airing up my tires, a white car pulls in beside me. Other than making sure I'm out of their way as I air up the front passenger tire, I don't pay attention to them.

So I'm a little startled to see the middle aged man staring at me after I've finished with the last tire.

He waits until I replace the hose before he steps forward and says:

I'm standing here trying to figure out who taught you how to do that.

Do what?

Check your tires and air them up. You even have your own gauge!

I grew up on a farm. My dad taught me.

That makes sense, because you obviously can't be married.

Actually I am.

But its the husband's job to do that! (gesturing toward the van)

Really? I'm surprised you think that way. Because I drive a MINIVAN. What about this vehicle says that a man wants to be in charge of it? Its my van, I take care of it.

He laughs and I leave.

I had no idea where the conversation was going the entire time, but all I could think was

Was he standing behind me staring at my butt the entire time I was checking the passenger side?

Crazy Friday.

I was so frustrated that I yelled at both of them. They didn't even see it coming.

I just wanted things to move a little faster, but the oven was taking forever to heat up and I needed to leave for work.

So I yelled. Actually it was more like I hollered.

Right before I tossed it back in the fridge.

HA! You thought I was talking about the girls!

Nope! Much to the questionable relief of my sanity, I'm talking about the roll of Pillsbury refrigerated sugar cookie dough that I didn't have enough time to cook over my lunch hour, even though I desperately wanted a cookie.

And the next victim? STILL not one of my girls. It was . . .

A can of pop.

Needless to say I was a little frustrated that I hadn't had time to finish my soda over lunch, so it is still sitting on my table at home.

Waiting and deflating.

I guess I was the definition of Freaky Friday today.

Long weekend.

So the results from Kayla's appointment are . . .

She has the same 'yeasty beasties' that Alaina had, even though I tried my hardest to keep her neck folds clean and dry.

If you didn't hear me talk about it with Alaina, it seriously is a yeast infection just like athlete's foot. In fact the doctor recommends antifungal foot cream to treat it.

Good thing Jeff gets AF foot cream for free from work.

And the shots went okay, I nursed Kayla as soon as we finished and then she slept the rest of the afternoon. But the calm gave way to the storm and she hasn't slept through the night or slept much during the day since.

Friday, was however, My day!

My best bud Mrs. S and I headed up to get Miss O from the airport. She's back from CA and spunky as ever. The best part of the trip was our little adventures in the Old Market. We went to a bar and grill to eat, but we figured out it was pretty much just a bar after we got our food.

I tried to find something MSPI safe, and this is how the conversation went.
"Do you know if there is milk or soy in the buns?"
"No, I don't know. Tell me what you can eat and I'll tell you if we have it."
"I can eat chicken."
"We have that. How about a salad with chicken?"
"Okay, I'll take this Blackened Chicken that says it is on a garden salad. But no cheese or croutons please."
"We don't have cheese or croutons on our salads."
"What does come on your garden salad?"
"Black olives and tomatoes."
"And the menu says eggs."
"Nope! We don't have eggs. What kind of dressing? We have Bleu cheese and ranch . ."
"I can't have those. Do you have a vinagrette?"
"Yes we have red wine."
"Sounds great!"

I paid $8 for a lump of lettuce, tomatoes and olives (which I don't like), and the vinagrette he was talking about? It was just plain vinegar.

I won't be going back to Billy Frogs anytime soon, for any reason.

But it was fun laughing with Mrs. S and Miss O about it.

Yo - Yo!

I'm getting really pumped for theater events this season.

Someone put some event brochures for the LEID center down in the lobby at work so I snagged one and posted my upcoming shows in my cube.

I'm so excited for Yo-Yo Ma in May that I could just puke!!

That and Tiff and I are going to see the traveling show of "So You Think You Can Dance?" in Omaha on Nov 3rd.


And to top it all off . . .NWU is doing Applause, Applause again in which the students perform assorted musical numbers from historical broadway shows. They did this my senior year and it was so amazing! I can hardly wait!

A lost dream.

MBG and I used to spend hours pouring over the American girls catalog in the summer.



We plotted and planned exactly how we would purchase our favorite historical dolls and all of their accessories.



In the end we didn't buy a single thing. I think we just couldn't justify buying an $80 doll when we could buy books and jewelry instead.



But yesterday I got an urge to go look at that doll that I desired so much for 3 summers.


And what I found was a tragedy.

The doll that I had picked out was discontinued last year. I couldn't believe how sad I was hearing that no other little girls would dream about having their own victorian Samantha doll like I had.

No planning or saving,
no wishing or hoping.

Sniff, sniff.

If I really wanted, I could buy her on ebay for probably $150. But if I wasn't willing to spend $80 as a yound girl for her, why would I want to spend more now?

I guess the dream is often sweeter that the reality.

Yellow Dresses and Yellow Lines.

So I survived last week . . .which ended with a tense conversation with my pediatrician and holding my screaming/crying daughter while she had an IV for two hours.

Needless to say I didn't go back to work after that on Friday.

Alaina finally started to perk up late Friday, but we had a pretty rotten spell up until then.

She was feeling good enough to put her Belle dress on and put Butterscotch the stuffed cat to bed. Awww . . .she even read him a story.

I told Jeff that it is about time to look into making a new princess dress for her so that I can rotate one through the wash. He looked at me funny and pointed out that she had several other play dresses to put on. I countered with

"Yes, but they aren't princess dresses."

You should have seen the look on his face. hee hee

Baby shower on Sunday and then back to work.

And boy did this day start fun!!!

I'm putting together my receipts for my business credit card and couldn't find one. I remembered that I had stuck two of the receipts in a book that I returned to barnes and noble, but I only had one.

So . . . .

I drove over to b and n for lunch, located a copy of the book I returned, and

Lo and behold!

The receipt was still inside.

Then off to the mall to grab some Qdoba chips and guac. (Apparently now when I get chips and guac I get a free salsa too. Yum!)

I tried to pull into a parking space that looked open and can nose to nose with this.

Oh how I wish my camera was a polaroid. I would have left this pic with a snarky message on it like.

"Who taught you how to park . . .your grandma? Go back to Kindergarten and learn how to stay in the lines."

Any other suggestions?

The hair color initiative

Just a quick note to let you know I'm here.

I was all inspired and decided to color my hair Monday night.

I went for Nice and Easy Medium Champagne Blonde, which is pretty much my natural hair color, but it stripped out a little of the brown that I have been loathing.

Jeff of course couldn't tell the difference, but since he's colorblind (no seriously, he is) I always figure that if he can't see the difference, then I didn't go too drastic.

At work all yesterday, not one single person commented on my hair color. Which is funny because in the regular course of my job, I have been asked if I colored my hair more times that not since my hair looks so different depending upon the weather and how I style it.

But

I had a prenatal appointment last night. Just one of those "Are you in Labor? No? Well then see you in two weeks," kind of appointments.

The nurse and my midwife both said "OH my gosh! you colored your hair!"

Now how about that?

Favorite Supebowl Moments

(Dialogue between Aliana and I while watching the longest Superbowl return in history.)

Mommy: "Wow, he's a machine!"

Alaina: "No, Mommy, he's not a machine"

Mommy: "My mistake."

Alaina: "No. You're not a mistake. You're my mommy."

Seriously funny.

New fangled alarm clock

Do you ever have an idea that you are so proud that you came up with all by yourself?

It's not a unique idea, and I'm sure that it has been done before . . .but I'm busting with pride this morning at having gotten my daughter out of bed with minimal fuss.

All I had to do was bark like a dog

and meow like a cat . . .

and moo like a cow . . .

and neigh like a horse . . .

and finally gobble like a turkey.

I guess Mommy does a good gobble, because I'm guaranteed to have her in a fit of giggles after just two calls.

Maybe I should just ask Papa for his duck call . . . .

UPDATE:

I have to admit, I'm a high strung person at work. I take work way to seriously and when things get rushed or start to fray, so do I. I've always been like this . . .

But I have met my match.

One of the women on my team can make the grand canyon out of a shallow ditch with nothing more than the frantic pace she keeps everyday.

I was like this until she joined the team, now I feel like a yoga instructor trying to unwind someone who is wrapped up like a human pretzel.

I feel like I'm trapped under a funnel cloud, and whenever I see her number on my phone or hear her rushing down the hall to my desk . . .that's the tail of the tornado pulling down to land on me.

Can you imagine the atmospheric pressure of being right where a tornado lands?

If you can't stop by my desk for a few hours someday and watch me literally shrink when the pressure starts to emerge.

It's a shame they don't name tornadoes like they name hurricanes or I'd write in daily to the National Weather Center with my recommendation.

Movies and tears

Yesterday was a rather fretful day at work . . . vendor demos, and they had all these little gadgets they wanted to plug in and show us . . .

but their gadgets don't work with our network security.

So frustrations galore led me to the decision that I was going to take a free movie pass I had from work to go see "Inkheart" by myself.

I was the ONLY one in the thearter. As a matter of fact I was about 2 minutes late and they had to start the movie for me.

The movie was good. Good in the way that movies are when you know they came from excellent books, so hundreds of pages of delicious dialogue have been crammed into 100+ onscreen minutes.

But the real treat for seeing the movie is that now I can read the book and have wonderful pictures of each character in my head as they do their daring deeds.

But that was last night . . . this morning was a different tale.

I made my daughter cry this morning. I mean all our wailing and screaming for mommy.

You see Alaina has decided to test out the lengths of her toddler power and the strength of the word "no." this morning she refused to get dressed because she didn't want to go to daycare.

I told her she had to go because mommy and daddy would be at work all day and she couldn't be home alone. She stuck to her guns with the word "no" as the answer for everything, and refused to let me help her get dressed.

So I left.

No, I didn't actually leave . . .I had to go downstairs and get my clothes out of the dryer.

But Alaina thought I had left her home. (Apparently she thinks mommy likes to drive to work in her bra and underwear.)

As I came back up the stairs, I could hear her wailing for mommy.(Don't ask where Jeff was at this time) So we had to have a sit down talk that mommy was sorry she scared her . . .but she needed to go to daycare on the days that mommy and daddy worked.

Hopefully there isn't any lasting trauma since she was laughing by the time we got into the van to leave.

Is this "A moment?"

Do you ever have a moment in you life when you think . . .

20 years from now I'll be standing at a banquet/podium/head table talking about this exact moment.

I wonder if I had one of those moments this morning.

I was driving Alaina to daycare this morning and she said, "Look at the big truck!"

In the right lane beside us was an ambulance.

"Alaina, that is an ambulance."

"Am-plance?"

"Yes. An Am-bu-lance takes sick people to the hospital to get better."

"OH!"

At the next corner the ambulance turned.

"Let's follow the Am-Bu-Lance Mommy!"

"Sorry, sweetie, we have to go to daycare. And people aren't suppose to chase Ambulances."

"oh . . . "


And I wondered . . . is my daughter a future reporter or paparazzi?

MPH

I still marvel at the intelligence of a two year old.

She is cunning, sneaky, coniving . . . which is probably why she and the cat can't seem to get along.

To set the premise for the story meet the I must tell you about the Mr. Potato Head plan. For christmas, someone got the bright idea to give my daughter a Mr. Potato Head accessory pack. The plan was brilliant, except we don't have a Mr. Potato Head. Said cunning intelligent child immediately recognize what these pieces were for (I saw a Mr. Potato Head at daycare a few days later . . .) and kept asking in a small sniffly voice where her "Tomato" was.

So I decided to buy her one . . they can't be more than $5-7 dollars right?

Wrong.

The only Mr. Potato Head dolls that I could find where an R2-D2 potato head for $15, an Optimus Prime spud for $11 and a Santa spud for $7 on clearance and the BIG BAD POTATO depicted above.

The 80th anniversary Delux Mr. Potato Set. The Potato is about 2 feet tall, the hat comes off so that you can get to the pieces inside, and you can remove the eyes, mouth, nose, and ears from the container itself. From here I out I will dub the big guy MPH.

So I broke down and bought MPH for $18. Not a bad deal considering the amount of pieces you get compared to the five pieces with the other small spuds. I told Alaina she could pick out a piece everytime she went potty in the toilet and two pieces for everytime she went poop.

So on to our Goldilock adventure this morning. . . .

Joy of all joys, she woke up with a dry pull up so I corralled her immediately into the bathroom where we had to fuss with whether to use the big toilet or her little potty, first sitting on one and then the other.

This of course was a big improvement over yesterday, where when I praised her for having a dry pull up, she demanded to be changed. I said she didn't need to be changed because she was dry, so she paused, pottied in her dry pull up right then and there and demanded to be changed because she was now wet . . .

sigh

Anyway, back to goldilocks

The toilet was too big - so we pottied in the potty chair for the first time in months. But she wanted to prove that she was actually going potty, so she proceeded to try and show me while she was going, creating a bit of a mess.

The stepping stool was too small to use to wash her hands - So I had to fetch the chair from her table. But because she wanted to get it all by herself and I wanted to hurry, we comprimised and I brought it from the other room to the doorway to the bathroom and she carried it to the sink.

And since she did everything just right . . .she reminded me that she could pick out another piece for MPH. She hasn't remembered this deal since we bought MPH on Jan 1st, but this morning as we were running late, it was very important to get her pieces out because she had forgotten to get one last night so she was rewarded with 2 arms.

The morning progressed at a crawl as she demanded a drink of milk, then a drink of water, her gummy vitamins, two scobby snack, her makeup (transluscent powder and shiny chapstick), and two ponies (pigtails) on her head, and more scoobies.

I caved on all demands except the pigtails.

Post Turkey tiredness

Turkey and pregnancy do not make for a very merry me.

I had a great time with family today . . .
at least the time that I was mentally accounted for. . .

At one point my aunt was sitting across the table and asked me a question (and it wasn't loud or anything in the room) and my brain didn't even register anything until I heard my mom say . . . "Sorry, she's check out."

Geez.

And then I just get word vomit. . . .

Did I really just say that? Nuts!!

Of course the highlight of my evening was the discussion on breastfeeding. I don't think I've ever heard my Grandma talk about something so personal . . but she just jumped headfirst in the conversation sharing her two bits.

Go Grandma!!

It was a tired lot that slowly departed our house. But a merry lot of adults, children and pets.

And share the news with whomever you meet over the next six months. I'm not the kind of person to care. My only desired it to tell the siblings, parents and grandparents myself.

Mission accomplished. Package due to arrive June 5, 2009.

Just two weeks after the ten year high school reunion, officially making me "the fat one."

Just Kidding

Happy U.S.A. Turkey Day!!!

Memories I would have lost . .

Here are a few of the pics from the old camera . . .
Alaina's first haircut.

Grams on her "farewell tour" with cousin Bill and his wife Zola (rhymes with Lola). If you read this, have fun with that name Subspace. . . ; )

Alaina playing with Mimi and Papa at Uncle Brett's 30th b-day bash.

Sharing window space with Lucy.

Having fun with Mommy . . . .One of the few pictures of Alain and myself at this point.

Would I really have missed these that much? Probably not, but now I won't have the regret of losing them.

Hail to the Chief!

I am so excited I might puke! I cast my vote bright and early yesterday for PRESIDENT Obama and I'm so excited that he won! My husband and I watched CNN all night last night and Alaina got to enjoy lots of treats in honor of the special occasion! (not to mention because of a heavy dose of parent guilt that we weren't giving her 100% of our attention.)

I cried when he won.

I'm so tired from staying up and watching the coverage, and yet I'm mentally exhilirated!

The staunch republicans in the office are walking around grouching and moaning about war records and one talked about his father in law who lost two fingers at Omaha beach. I'll never understand why after an election, the first thoughts in so many peoples minds is how this will affect the military.

I ready to see who he puts on his cabinet too! He's suppose to name his chief of staff today.

Today!!

But I wish I would have taken today off to celebrate like my husband.

I need sleep!


Update:
Jeff called this morning to share tragic news. Our Obama yard sign was liberated from our yard this morning. I hope that someone who was overjoyed at Obama's win decided that they had to have one in their yard and that it wasn't taken with the intent to detroy.

I hope you find a happy home Mr Yard sign! You served us well through the pre-election period and you were proudly displayed all election day. *sniff, sniff*